Strange dream

Greetings people.

today I really got a strange dream and I’m thinking about what this dream/my unconsciousness wanted to tell. I think I got the message but see for yourself and maybe leave a comment.

Well it started in a town where I have been sometime before in my dreams. I followed a friend of mine a house. When I entered the building I saw normal stairways, my friend walked so fast it was hard to follow. After a few steps the surrounding changed, it looked like in Harry Potter, stairways in all direction, no gravity. My friend did some parkour moves and left me. I somehow was then sitting on the windowsill and could look down. I would have been fallen down when I moved and who knows where that would have ended.
So I looked down and saw a brown bear, also afraid of falling down. I couldn’t move, but I shouted something like “It’s OK. You’re not falling down.”, he looked up and saw me. A path opened so the bear could walk to my windowsill. I got a bit afraid because he was still a predator. But I just surrendered and allowed him to come to me. He came near and I petted him. His color then turned white the moment I touched him. Everything changed and the environment disappeared.

I found myself then sitting in a speedboat. I was not alone. I still know that there was a female person with me. We could see the ocean from the glass window inside of the boat. We were moving very fast but then the time kind of stopped, like in a blurring motion we were still moving. Two Dolphins appeared and also came near. It looked like they were smiling, open hearted and happy. Then I saw something dark in the water it looked like blood or oil, some dark fluid in the water below us but we were leaving that behind and it got thinner and thinner.

We landed on an island. The girl told me to go ahead.

I agreed and then I let me drive in a direction. But then I noticed I didn’t know where we were heading to. So I left the car, thanked the driver and started to walk back. The environment looked like it was colonized by the US and Russia and they were allies, everywhere was military crates filled with weapons. I came through a village and I saw a dog barking at me and then starting to running towards me I was kind of scared then, but the dog just ran by and passed without really noticing me. Than I saw some little black bears, which were hold as pets or something like that.

I then moved on and saw a bunch of people surrounding a strange object/machine. There were two people presenting that object. So I got closer to take a better view of it. They saw that I was new, told me that the object could change my behavior and the only thing I had to do was looking in the light that was coming out of it. It could change positively or negatively. They thought I would not believe them and wanted me to try that out but I told them I know that it would work. But I didn’t want myself to be changed that way. I also told them that I think it only is working on people because of the way we perceive things and how our brain works. 90% of our perception is perceived through our eyes so no wounder that would affect us.

Then a new person appeared and told me that he is trying to sabotage them so that they are not using this machine anymore. But they are repairing it faster and faster everytime he sabotages it. So I was tangled between two lines. I was in the centre or maybe I’am the centre.

I’m sure it’s kind of confusing hope you find it still interesting, because I do.

 

Breath deep. Peace. See you soon

brealche

🙂

Quote ‘3’

“The word ‘person’ comes from the Latin word ‘persona’, which referred to the masks worn by actors in which sound would come through. The ‘person’ is the maskーthe role you’re playing. And all your friends and relations and teachers are busy telling you who you are and what your role in life is.” ~Alan Watts

Greetings people.

I totally agree with this quote, that’s exactly the reason why I kind of struggle now when leaving this mask behind. Letting myself be seen.

Currently I have such an insight to all things concerning me.

How I become what I’am and not what I’am, I let my little self be fooled by the surroundings back then and closed myself of this world and put on a mask. So that everyone appreciate me and accepts me instead of me accepting and appreciating myself.

I think I’m kind of repeating myself with my posts but I don’t care I write what’s on my mind and it’s for me it’s like I’m trying to convince myself. I still can’t believe it really, got some work to do.

It’s just so funny to see this in the now in this moment.

Breath deep. Peace

brealche

Releasing

Greetings people.

All this time repressing my thoughts and feeling haha it feels great to release them in expressing. That’s now kinda my understanding of self-expression and the funny thing is as kids we’ve done that, we were present in the moment and expressed what we felt and said what we said as we were able but then we’ve learned and developed attitudes to protect ourself  and distance us from others through parents and eduction and our so called society. At least this goes for me I build a logical shell around me not letting anything out or in, tried to please others for acceptance and not showing what I want or need.. but becoming aware of that everything is shifting.

It’s still kind of wobbly being present in the moment and expressing what is currently up my mind.  I feel kind of sad that I wasn’t able to see this years earlier it seems that it just wasn’t the right time back then, this time was needed to start my recovery so I’m just being grateful for.

Currently I’m experiencing many synchronic moments so I think that path is the right one, especially because there is no right or wrong path. A path is a path therefore nor good nor bad.

Peace. Breath deep.

brealche

🙂

 

 

Old paradigm

In attempt to get me in tune with myself. I’m finding old paradigms I sort of developed thru childhood.
“If I am good, then i will be liked and loved, get the desire I want and have a life without problems.” Haha and here goes the thing I tried not to show these desires openly I which thought and this just produced the opposite of what I wanted it just made me feel powerless and weak.
Though trying to live as smooth and non-resistant even if it wasn’t for my sake. I remained a way of not needing and wanting anything Eventhough I desired I didn’t show.
I forgot that one major factor in this is “smooth-problem-free-life” is that life is not smooth or problem-free at all. our pure existence and all around us is by natures chaotic. Is is filled with the unpredictable and beyond my control, which I thought with making less I could escape. But the truth is I really can’t therefore and that just smacked my head today I need and will to surrender myself, it’s not meant to give up or not trying anything.

It’s accepting life the moment and the breath and the problems Which come and which already are I welcome them and am grateful for them to appear in front of me. I’m going to be more keen on learning, growing and being creative about current moments no gooddamn controlling.

Thanks to those who made me realise myself more and more.

My mind is wavery. My breath calm. Thanks for reading glad to hear comments.

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” Paulo Coelho

Peace
brealche
🙂

I made up my mind

Greetings people.

I made up my mind, hahaha kind of funny to say, when you think about you also made up your mind. 😀

What I made up my mind or should I rather say what my mind made up for?
Well I would say releasing. Releasing the beliefs and past problems which do no longer serve me, this procrastination, the needlessness and wantlessness acting. I understand and see things now that I wasn’t able to see thanks to the people around me and with me. All this happened for me to come to this step. I’m stepping up I feel it I really got to do it.
It’s seeing doors which are right in front of you and you being like the wind not knowing where you go but you go the right path.

The wind is accelerating let’s see where and what it brings for me and you.

 

Peace. Breath deep.

brealche

🙂